What if the goal of nervous system regulation wasn’t to feel calm all the time?
What if, instead of trying to change how you feel, you learned to recognize what’s happening inside your body, understand the emotions that are present, and allow yourself to experience them without immediately needing to make them go away?
We spend so much of our lives trying to escape uncomfortable feelings. We distract ourselves, push through, overthink, or reach for something that will help us feel better.
But what if we could learn to be with ourselves exactly as we are, even when we don’t feel good?
Understanding the different states of your nervous system can be a powerful first step.
The 3 Nervous System States
Ventral Vagal: Connection and Safety
This state is associated with feeling safe enough to connect with yourself, others, and the world around you.
You might notice:
- Easier, more natural breathing.
- A sense of being present and grounded.
- Curiosity, openness, or connection.
- The ability to experience emotions without feeling consumed by them.
Being in this state doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time. You can feel sadness or disappointment and still feel connected and supported.
Regulation isn’t the absence of difficult emotions. It’s the ability to experience them with greater flexibility and support.
Sympathetic Activation: Mobilization and Action
Your sympathetic nervous system helps prepare your body to respond to challenges and demands.
You might notice:
- A faster heartbeat or shallower breathing.
- Muscle tension or restlessness.
- Racing thoughts or a sense of urgency.
- Emotions such as anxiety, anger, frustration, or excitement.
This activation isn’t inherently bad. It helps you take action, meet challenges, and protect yourself. The difficulty comes when activation feels constant or you struggle to recover.
Instead of immediately trying to calm yourself down, begin by noticing: My body feels activated. I’m feeling anxious, and I have an urge to fix something right now.
You can recognize that urge without automatically acting on it.
Dorsal Vagal: Withdrawal and Shutdown
Within Polyvagal Theory, the dorsal vagal branch is associated with certain immobilization responses. The term is often used to describe experiences of withdrawal, shutdown, or disconnection.
You might notice:
- Feeling heavy, tired, or low in energy.
- Wanting to withdraw from people.
- Feeling numb, flat, or disconnected.
- Sadness, helplessness, or a sense of overwhelm.
Rather than judging yourself for feeling this way, become curious: I’m feeling heavy. I want to withdraw. What am I experiencing right now?
Remember that fatigue, numbness, and low motivation can have many causes. The goal isn’t to label yourself, but to understand your experience and recognize what support you might need.
How Do You Recognize Which State You’re In?
Ask three simple questions:
- What is happening in my body?
Notice your breath, heart rate, muscles, posture, and energy. Are you tense, restless, settled, heavy, or numb?
- What emotions am I feeling?
Are you anxious, angry, sad, excited, content, or overwhelmed? Perhaps you aren’t sure. That’s okay, too.
- What state might I be experiencing?
Do you feel connected and present, activated and ready for action, or withdrawn and low in energy?
You may experience a mixture of states or move between them throughout the day. The purpose isn’t to diagnose yourself. It’s to become more aware of your internal world.
Want to understand your nervous system more deeply?
In Regulate, my four-week, 1:1 experience, we explore how your nervous system responds to stress, identify patterns that may be contributing to tension and overwhelm, and develop personalized tools through breath, awareness and movement.
Because sometimes the first step toward feeling better isn’t doing more.
It’s slowing down enough to listen to your body.
Call the office at 613-446-6060 or email info@biohealottawa.com to book your initial visit.